The Silence After the Dance
A Chronicle of Lafayette Coffman
Lafayette
"Fay" Coffman knew loss before he knew much of anything else. His
early childhood was marked by it; he lost his mother at age 3, and two sisters
and a half-brother by age 10. His father died in his early adulthood. Born in
the mountainous terrain of Virginia in 1879, he was part of a generation
defined by movement—a restless migration westward that carried him to the open,
wind-swept plains of Kansas.[1]
The 1900 census shows
him living with a family he may have known from his childhood, the Russell
family.[2] They had lived in the Shenandoah Valley in1880, but with the loss of
the 1890 census, the details of their migration to Kansas are unknown.[3] Whether
they were family or if he was just a hired hand, we can only guess, as the
records don’t reveal his relationship. But it was in 1906, when he married
Zelma Alethia Davis, that his life truly began to take root in the soil of
McClellan Township.[4]
Building a
Farm, Building A Community
When Fay and Zelma
established their home in Pratt County, they were stepping into a landscape
that demanded everything a young couple could give. The "Great American
Desert," as early mapmakers had called it, was being transformed into the "Golden
Belt" of wheat, but the transformation was grueling.
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McClellan Township was a grid of section lines and dirt roads, where the distance between neighbors was measured in miles. Records show that the Coffman family rented their farm, as many of their neighbors did, placing them in the square yellow section above the railroad line on the map below.[5] The exact location of the farm is unknown to this author, but there are many mentions of the family in the “Cullison Let’s Go” newspaper, so they may have lived close to this small farming community. For a young family in the first decade of the 20th century, this farm was not merely a place of work; it was a self-contained universe.
Outline Map-Pratt County 1922 www.kansasmemory.org Kansas State Historical Society- “Copy and Reuse Restrictions Apply” [5]
To survive this
isolation, Fay and Zelma built more than just a farm; they built a social hub.
The local newspapers from this era paint a picture of a household that refused
to be quiet. They were not merely residents of the township; they were its
hosts. The Coffman home became the designated site of regular dance
parties—events that were critical to the mental health of the rural community.
They were also present for the milestones that defined the wider community. On September 14, 1910, the family likely traveled the 12 to 14 miles by horse and wagon into town for the dedication of the new Pratt County Court House.[6] It was a monumental day of civic pride, a declaration that this community on the plains was built to last, mirroring Fay’s own commitment to the land. Zelma was six months pregnant with Milton, their first son, who would be born that December.[7] This event, much like the dances they hosted, was a way to weave their lives into the fabric of the county.
A Horse Man in a Changing World
The years between 1910
and 1920 were a time of technological revolution for Kansas farmers. Fay stood
with one foot in the old world and one in the new. He was a "horse
man" by trade and inclination. In 1915, his reputation for handling stock
was significant enough that he sold a team of horses to the City of Pratt to
pull their fire wagon. [8] This transaction, noted in the public record, was a
mark of status. To breed and train horses capable of the speed and discipline
required for fire service meant Fay was a skilled stockman, not just a dirt
farmer.[9]
Fire Wagon-Pratt, Kansas Sept 1910 [9] Pratt County Historical Museum https://prattcountymuseum.org/ Used with permission.
Yet, around him, the
world was mechanizing. The high wheat prices of World War I—when the government
slogan was "Food Will Win the War"—encouraged farmers to "plow
up more acres." The native old grasses were turned under to make way for
grain, and the tractor began to replace the horse.[10] Fay likely participated
in this era of prosperity, expanding his operations as the prices soared. It
was a time of optimism, where the hard work of the previous decade seemed to be
paying off in tangible stability.
The household grew
alongside the crops. Fay and Zelma raised a large family—Vera, Florence,
Milton, Chester, Loren (my grandfather), and Elmer—who were woven tightly into
the local fabric. The children were not just dependents; they were a workforce.
In the 1910s, 1920s and well into the 1930s a farm child’s life was defined by
chores: gathering eggs, milking cows before dawn, and helping with the harvest
when the threshing crews arrived. The "Social Notes" columns of the
time frequently mentioned the Coffman children helping neighbors, a testament
to the code of the West: you help your neighbor because, eventually, you will
need them to help you.[11,12]
The Silence That Followed
But the prosperity of
the war years was fragile. As the 1920s progressed, the agricultural economy
began to crack long before the stock market crash of 1929. Wheat prices
plummeted, and the land, stripped of its native grass, began to show signs of
exhaustion. It was against this backdrop of looming economic hardship that the
noise of the dances and the bustle of the growing family came to a sudden,
shattering halt.
In August 1925, the
Coffman home was struck by a double tragedy that would alter the trajectory of
the family forever. Zelma, only forty-three years old, underwent surgery for
gallbladder issues and appendicitis. She did not survive.[13] Her obituary
revealed a heartbreak that had been kept quieter than the dances: the mention
of "Baby Anna," a daughter who had "preceded her mother to the
better world." The historical record is sparse regarding Anna—no birth or
death certificate has been definitively located, and she does not appear in the
1920 census—suggesting she may have been born and died in the interval between
census counts, a "shadow child" whose loss was a private grief amidst
the public life they led.
Suddenly, at age
forty-five, Fay was a widower with six surviving children ranging from eight to
eighteen years old. The silence that descended on the farm must have been
deafening. The community, which had so often gathered at the Coffman house for
joy, now gathered for mourning. A "Card of Thanks" published in the
newspaper expressed the family's gratitude: "We wish to express our
sincere and heartfelt thanks to all our friends and neighbors for their many
acts of kindness during the illness and death of our beloved wife and mother.
Fay Coffman and Family."[14]
The phrase "acts
of kindness" in a rural context carried specific weight. It meant
neighbors bringing casseroles so the family could eat, men coming over to milk
the cows because Fay was at the funeral home, and women helping to wash the
clothes of the motherless children. It was the community repaying the years of
hospitality Fay and Zelma had provided.
The Years of Endurance
After that card
appeared, a distinct shift occurred in the historical record. The dance
announcements stopped. The stories of social gatherings vanished. Fay retreated
from the role of community host to the role of survivor. The late 1920s and
early 1930s were brutal years to be a widower in Kansas. The Great Depression
arrived, bringing with it the environmental catastrophe of the Dust Bowl. The
very soil Fay had plowed began to blow away in "black blizzards" that
darkened the sky at noon.[15]
While many of his
neighbors packed up their Model T Fords and headed for California, Oregon and
Arizona, Fay stayed. The 1930 U.S. Census shows him still in McClellan
Township, head of a household that included his four sons and a 52-year-old
widowed housekeeper. This was a different kind of heroism than selling fire
horses; this was the heroism of endurance. With the help of his older children,
he kept the farm running when the economy collapsed. With the two older daughters, Vera & Florence, already married and out of the home, he watched his sons marry
one by one—Loren in 1932[16] and Chester ("Chic") in 1933,[17] Milton
and Elmer between 1935 and 1940—celebrating these beginnings during the
bleakest economic years in American history.
A Second Chance
A city directory entry from
1937 places Fay in the town of Pratt, suggesting a brief period where he may
have stepped away from the daily grind of the township farm, perhaps because
his children had moved on or due to financial hardship.[18] But he did not
remain alone. Sometime between 1937 and 1940, Fay’s life shifted again. He did
not look at his old social circle for a new partner. Instead, he married
Quizzie Passmore Hayes, a woman born in Missouri who had been living in
Clinton, Oklahoma.[19]
Quizzie was a match for
Fay’s resilience. Born Quizzie Christine Kahler in 1886, she had weathered her
own storms. She had raised five children with her first husband, Roll Passmore,
before he died after a long illness. She was only thirty-five at the time. A
second marriage had been brief and unsuccessful. She understood that a marriage
in later life is not about dances and parties; it is about companionship and
shared history.
By the 1940 Census, Fay
and Quizzie were living together on another farm, along with Quizzie’s teenage
daughter, a hired hand, and a lodger.[20] Newspaper accounts from as early as
1924 indicated Fay was having issues with his eyes, seeking consultation in
Wichita.[21] It is likely his eyesight was failing, and he needed the help to
manage the daily chores. As the decades rolled along, the 1950s found Fay and
Quizzie living in Wright County, Missouri, closer to Quizzie’s extended family,
both listed as unable to work.[22]
A Quiet Peace
Fay Coffman died in
November of 1973 in Clinton, Oklahoma, at the age of 94. Quizzie followed him
in death only eight months later in July of 1974, she was 88. They are buried together at
Greenlawn Memorial Gardens in Springfield, Missouri.[23] Fay survived the
silence. He never returned to the high-visibility social life of his first
marriage; the days of the Coffman farm being the party center of McClellan
Township were gone, buried with Zelma. But he remained on the land, witness to
the transformation of the prairie from the horse-drawn days of his youth to the
mechanized modern world.
In the end, even after
marrying a second time, his devotion to his first love remained visible. An
inscription on Fay and Quizzie’s shared headstone reads: “Zelma A Coffman,
1883-1925”. He had weathered the storms of nature and the storms of life,
finding a quiet, steady peace to see him through his final decades.
Endnotes
[1] Virginia, Birth Registers, 1853-1911, entry for
Lafayette Coffman; Library of Virginia, Richmond.
[2] 1900 U.S. census, Stafford County, Kansas, population
schedule, Seward Township, p. 9 (penned), enumeration district (ED) 305, sheet
9, dwelling [No.], family [No.], Lafayette Coffman in Russell household; NARA
microfilm publication T623, roll 501.
[3] 1880 U.S. census, Page County, Virginia, population
schedule, Shenandoah, p. 344A (penned), ED 061, Russell household; NARA
microfilm publication T9, roll 1383.
[4] Lafayette Coffman and Zelma A. Davis, marriage
certificate, 11 April 1906; Coffman-Hicks Family Papers, privately held by
Marcia Coffman Hicks, Oregon; certified copy provided by District Court of
Barton County, Kansas, 13 May 2016.
[5] "Pratt County, Kansas, Standard Atlas of Pratt
County, Kansas : digital image, Kansas Memory Catalog (https://www.kansasmemory.org) accessed 26 January 2026); and "Outline
Map of Pratt County Kansas, pg. 7" created by Geo. A. Ogle & Co, 1922).
[6] “Pratt County Court House Dedication 14 Sept 1910,”
photograph, 1910; digital image, Library of Congress Prints &
Photographs Online Catalog (https://www.loc.gov/ : accessed 26 January 2026).
[7] “Milton Henry Coffman,” U.S. World War II Draft Cards
Young Men, 1940-1947; digital image, Ancestry.com (http://www.ancestry.com : accessed 26 January 2026); citing NARA Record Group
147.
[8] "Fay Coffman Closes Deal," The Pratt
(Kansas) Republican, 24 June 1915, p. 7; digital image, Newspapers.com
(https://www.newspapers.com : accessed 27 January 2026).
[9] “Fire Wagon-Pratt Kansas, Pratt Kansas Historical
Museum, digital photo, dated 14 Sept 1910, https://prattcountymuseum.org/ ; accessed 25 January 2026.
[10] “Breaking sod with a tractor, Greeley County, Kansas,” image at the
website Kansas Memory, https://www.kansasmemory.gov/item/315113, used with permission.
[11] "History of Kansas," Wikipedia (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_Kansas : accessed 26 January 2026); and "Kansas
Agriculture," AgManager (https://agmanager.info : accessed 26 January 2026).
[12] "Cullison Locals," Cullison (Kansas)
Let's Go, 30 July 1924, p. 6; digital image, Newspapers.com (https://www.newspapers.com : accessed 28 January 2026).
[13] “Zelma Alethia Davis,” obituary, Cullison
(Kansas) Let's Go, 9 September 1925, p. 1; digital image, Newspapers.com
(https://www.newspapers.com : accessed 28 January 2026).
[14] "Card of Thanks," Cullison (Kansas)
Let's Go, 9 September 1925, p. 1; digital image, Newspapers.com (https://www.newspapers.com : accessed 28 January 2026).
[15] 1930 U.S. census, Pratt County, Kansas, population
schedule, McClellan Township, ED [No.], sheet [No.], dwelling [No.], family
[No.], Lafayette Coffman; digital image, Ancestry.com (http://www.ancestry.com : accessed 26 January 2026); and "The Great
Depression," Drought Risk Management Research Center (https://drought.unl.edu/dustbowl/ : accessed 26 January 2026).
[16] Loren Davis Coffman and Martha Richardson, marriage
certificate, 30 January 1932; Coffman-Hicks Family Papers, privately held by
Marcia Coffman Hicks, Oregon; certified copy provided by State of Kansas, Dept.
of Vital Statistics.
[17] 1940 U.S. census, Multnomah County, Oregon,
population schedule, Eastwood, p. 2A, ED 26-23, Chester Coffman household;
digital image, Ancestry.com (http://www.ancestry.com : accessed 26 January 2026).
[18] 1937 Pratt City Directory (Pratt, Kansas:
n.p., 1937), listing for Lafayette Coffman.
[19] 1930 U.S. census, Custer County, Oklahoma,
population schedule, Clinton, ED [No.], sheet [No.], dwelling [No.], family
[No.], Quizzie Passmore household; digital image, Ancestry.com (http://www.ancestry.com : accessed 26 January 2026).
[20] 1940 U.S. census, Pratt County, Kansas, population
schedule, McClellan Township, ED [No.], sheet [No.], dwelling [No.], family
[No.], Lafayette Coffman household; digital image, Ancestry.com (http://www.ancestry.com : accessed 26 January 2026).
[21] "Cullison Locals," Cullison (Kansas)
Let's Go, 19 November 1924, p. 6; digital image, Newspapers.com (https://www.newspapers.com : accessed 1 February 2026).
[22] 1950 U.S. census, Wright County, Missouri,
population schedule, Gasconade, p. 17, ED 115-12, dwelling [No.], family [No.],
Lafayette Coffman household; digital image, Ancestry.com (http://www.ancestry.com : accessed 26 January 2026).
[23] Find a Grave, database and images (https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/92633512/lafayette-coffman: accessed February 10, 2026), memorial page
for Lafayette “Fay” Coffman (15 Dec 1879–22 Nov 1973), {{FindAGrave|92633512}}, citing Greenlawn Memorial Gardens,
Springfield, Greene County, Missouri, USA; Maintained by Marcia Coffman Page
Hicks (contributor 48495172).
I'm
Marcia Coffman Hicks, a family historian/genealogist born in California, living
in Oregon and the great-granddaughter of Lafayette (Fay) Coffman and his 1st
wife Zelma Alethia Davis. They lived all their adult lives in Kansas. I wrote this story to preserve a piece of our
family's past and help future generations understand and relate to our shared
ancestry.
Author’s Note
I wrote The Silence After the Dance: A Chronicle of
Lafayette Coffman to preserve my family’s history and to share it with the
generations who come after me. In drafting this narrative, I used AI language
models (Claude Opus 4.5 and Gemini Pro 3) as a writing aid to help generate
early drafts and explore phrasing. Every paragraph was then reviewed, edited,
and refined by me, and the final voice, interpretations, and conclusions are my
own.
Because this is a work of family
history, I have tried to follow genealogical standards: the key facts and
claims in this story are grounded in documentary evidence and are accompanied
by source citations so readers can evaluate the information for themselves.
Even with careful research and review, mistakes are always possible. Any errors
or interpretations are my responsibility, and I welcome corrections or
additional documentation that can strengthen this record.
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